Unspoken Voice

Click here to listen to a song to raise funds for pro-life organizations: Pro-Life Music

I Loved Her First

We love this song -- thought I'd share it here. We heard it at four weddings this year and it's always been a fav. As our kids grow older we understand these sentiments more & more... ;) Enjoy!

A letter from an Alzheimer's patient, to you

Good morning. My name is Dr. Alice Howland. I'm not a neurologist or general practice physician, however. My doctorate is in psychology. I was a professor at Harvard University for twenty-five years. I taught courses in cognitive psychology, I did research in the field of linguistics, and I lectured all over the world.

I am not here today, however, to talk to you as an expert in psychology or language. I'm here today to talk to you as an expert in Alzheimer's disease. I don't treat patients, run clinical trials, study mutations in DNA, or counsel patients and their families. I am an expert in this subject because, just over a year ago, I was diagnosed with early-onset Alzheimer's disease.

I'm honoured to have this opportunity to talk with you today, to hopefully lend some insight into what it's like to live with dementia. Soon, although I'll still know what it is like, I'll be unable to express it to you. And too soon after that, I'll no longer even know I have dementia. So what I have to say today is timely.

We, in the early stages of Alzheimer's are not yet utterly incompetent. We are not without language or opinions that matter or extended periods of lucidity. Yet we are not competent enough to be trusted with the many demands and responsibilities of our former lives. We feel like we are neither here nor there, like some crazy Dr. Seuss character in a bizarre land. It's a very lonely and frustrating place to be.

I no longer work at Harvard. I no longer read and write research articles or books. My reality is completely different from what it was not long ago. And it is distorted. The neural pathways I use to try to understand what you are saying are gummed up with amyloid. I struggle to find the words I want to say and often hear myself saying the wrong ones. I can't confidently judge spatial distances, which means I drop things and fall down a lot and can get lost two blocks from my home. And my short-term memory is hanging on by a couple of frayed threads.

I'm losing my yesterdays. If you ask me what I did yesterday, what happened, what I saw and felt and heard, I'd be hard-pressed to give you details. I might guess a few things correctly. I'm an excellent guesser. But I don't really know. I don't remember yesterday or the yesterday before that.

And I have no control over which yesterdays I keep and which ones get deleted. This disease will not be bargained with. I can't offer it the names of the United States presidents in exchange for the names of my children. I can't give it the names of the state capitals and keep the memories of my husband.

I often fear tomorrow. What if I wake up and don't know who my husband is? What if I don't know where I am or recognize myself in the mirror? When will I no longer be me? Is the part of my brain that's responsible for my unique 'me-ness' vulnerable to this disease? Or is my identity something that transcends neurons, proteins, and defective molecules of DNA? Is my soul and spirit immune to the ravages of Alzheimer's? I believe it is.

Being diagnosed with Alzheimer's is like being branded with a scarlet A. This is now who I am, someone with dementia. This was how I would, for a time, define myself and how others continue to define me. But I am not what I say or what I do or what I remember. I am fundamentally more than that.

I am a wife, mother, and friend, and soon to be grandmother. I still feel, understand, and am worthy of the love and joy in those relationships. I am still an active participant in society. My brain no longer works well, but I use my ears for unconditional listening, my shoulders for crying on, and my arms for hugging others with dementia. Through an early-stage support group, through the Dementia Advocacy and Support Network International, by talking to you today, I am helping others with dementia live better with dementia. I am not someone dying. I am someone living with Alzheimer's. I want to do that as well as I possibly can.

I'd like to encourage earlier diagnosis, for physicians not to assume that people in their forties and fifties experiencing memory and cognition problems are depressed or stressed or menopausal. The earlier we are properly diagnosed, the earlier we can go on medication, with the hope of delaying progression and maintaining a footing on a plateau long enough to reap the benefits of a better treatment or cure soon. I still have hope for a cure, for me, for my friends with dementia, for my daughter who carries the same mutated gene. I may never be able to retrieve what I've already lost, but I can sustain what I have. I still have a lot.

Please don't look at our scarlet A's and write us off. Look us in the eye, talk directly to us. Don't panic or take it personally if we make mistakes, because we will. We will repeat ourselves, we will misplace things, and we will get lost. We will forget your name and what you said two minutes ago. We will also try our hardest to compensate for and overcome our cognitive losses.

I encourage you to empower us, not limit us. If someone has a spinal cord injury, if someone has lost a limb or has a functional disability from a stroke, families and professionals work hard to rehabilitate that person, to find ways to cope and manage despite these losses. Work with us. Help us develop tools to function around our losses in memory, language, and cognition. Encourage involvement in support groups. We can help each other, both people with dementia and their caregivers, navigate through this Dr. Seuss land of neither here not there.

My yesterdays are disappearing, and my tomorrows are uncertain, so what do I live for? I live for each day. I live in the moment. Some tomorrow soon, I'll forget that I stood before you and gave this speech. But just because I'll forget it some tomorrow doesn't mean that I didn't live every second of it today. I will forget today, but that doesn't mean that today didn't matter.

I'm no longer asked to lecture about language at universities and psychology conferences all over the world. But here I am before you today, giving what I hope is the most influential talk of my life. And I have Alzheimer's disease.

Thank you.

(pgs. 251-254, Still Alice, by Lisa Genova)

Somewhere

We've been to a few weddings so far this year with a few more to go ... and recently I came upon this song that I hadn't listened to for a very long while. I used to have it on cassette when the kids were little and I used to play it a lot -- thinking about what my children's future mate might be doing at that time! I thought I'd share it here. It's written by Wayne Watson and I couldn't find him singing it on YouTube or GodTube, and the video below has the piano too loud but it's the best that I can do! The lyrics are written below.

Now that I've been married for quite a few years I realize fully how important the decision of one's marriage partner really is. Of course I always knew it was a serious choice, but time and maturity does open your eyes to things that didn't seem as consequential when I was younger. Having a mate whose first goal in life is leading a life that is pleasing to the Lord IS the best. Having "stuff" is the least of important things -- having the Lord in your life and marriage is the best.

Enjoy!



Somewhere in the world today
A little girl will go out to play
All dressed up in mama's clothes

At least the way that I suppose it goes

Somewhere in the world tonight
Before she reaches to turn out the light
She'll be prayin' from a tender heart
A simple prayer that's a work of art

And I don't even know her name
But I'm prayin' for her just the same
That the Lord will write His name upon her heart
Cause somewhere in the course of this life
A little boy will need a godly wife

So hold on to Jesus, baby, wherever you are

Somewhere in the world out there
That little girl's learnin' how to care
She's pickin' up her mama's charms
Or maybe, swingin' around in her daddy's arms

Somewhere in the world to be
Through the future's not real clear to me
Theirs could be a tender love
Grounded in eternal love above

Made in China Boycott

I received this email a while back and I thought I'd share it here for those who might be interested but haven't seen it.

I'm one who regularly reads labels and makes choices based on what I read...and I especially love to buy Canadian if I can and avoid items made in China. Mainly because I feel that if we don't support our jobs here at home, eventually there won't be jobs here at home! Also because of quality. My rules are these: I will buy Canadian wherever possible. If I can't buy Canadian, I will buy US made items next. After that, I will reconsider if I really need the item and possibly skip buying it. I only shop at dollar stores (I call them "landfill stores") as a last resort and I apply the "Buy Canadian" rules there (Canadian-made greeting cards are often available at dollar stores).


I had to buy myself some new running shoes lately and I know from experience that 99.9% of athletic shoes are "Made in China". Imagine my surprise when I chose a pair and read that they were "Made in the USA!!" Yah!! The price was good AND they were made in the US!!! Win, win!!


Last week I had raisins on my list to buy -- the last package made it past me before I realized that they were from Thailand. Grrrr. So I read the labels and found that SunMaid raisins are from the US. About 75cents more per package but worth it. Those raisins are AWESOME anyway!


Here's to supporting our workers here at home in North America!


I WAS BUYING FOOD THE OTHER DAY AT THE COUNTRY MARKET. ON THE LABEL OF SOME PRODUCTS IT SAID FROM CHINA. FOR EXAMPLE THE "OUR FAMILY" BRAND OF THE MANDARIN ORANGES SAYS RIGHT ON THE CAN FROM CHINA I WAS SHOCKED!! SO FOR A FEW MORE CENTS I BOUGHT THE LIBERTY GOLD BRAND OR THE DOLE IS FROM CAL . TAKES FOREVER JUST TO BUY FOOD AND DO LABEL READING ! !
Are we Canadians as dumb as we appear --- or --- is it that we just do not think? While the Chinese, knowingly and intentionally, export inferior and even toxic products and dangerous toys and goods to be sold in Canadian markets, Yet 70% of North Americans believe that the trading privileges afforded to the Chinese should be suspended. Well, duh..why do you need the government to suspend trading privileges? SIMPLY DO IT YOURSELF!! Simply look on the bottom of every product you buy, and if it says 'Made in China ' or 'PRC' (and that now includes Hong Kong ), simply choose another product, or none at all. You will be amazed at how dependent you are on Chinese products, and you will be equally amazed at what you can do without. Who needs plastic eggs to celebrate Easter? If you must have eggs, use real ones and benefit some Canadian farmer. Easter is just an example, the point is do not wait for the government to act. Just go ahead and assume control on your own. THINK ABOUT THIS If 200 million North Americans refuse to buy just $20 each of Chinese goods, that's a billion dollar trade imbalance resolved in our favor...fast!! The downside? Some businesses will feel a temporary pinch from having foreign stockpiles of inventory. Wahhhhhhhhhhhh The solution? Let's give them fair warning and send our own message. Most of the people who have been reading about this matter are planning on implementing this on June 4, and continue it until July 4. That is only one month of trading losses, but it will hit the Chinese for 1/12th of the total, or 8%, of their North American exports. Then they will at least have to ask themselves if the benefits of their arrogance and lawlessness were worth it. ! Remember, June 4 to July 4. EVEN BETTER. . . START NOW. If we can't live without cheap Chinese goods for one month out of our lives, WE DESERVE WHAT WE GET!

Rumours, Real or a Hoax?

Recently we've received quite a few forwarded emails that seem quite legitimate and usually they are about something that is concerning -- like the latest one about a movie about Jesus and his disciples being gay. These emails often get forwarded quickly because they seem so real -- and some are real. HOWEVER, a lot aren't. In fact, most aren't.

The one about the gay Jesus movie was a hoax. But it got a lot of Christians in an uproar. And the emails flew!

Recently we've received one about Christians preachers being banned from the TV/airwaves. Again this sounded legitimate, and concerning. However, again, it is an old email that is being forwarded over and over. Both of these examples are old emails -- a few years old! Yet they are still being forwarded as "true".

I have a suggestion -- before you forward any email, check to see if it's true first! There are sites available that will let you know if they are a hoax. The one that we check often is "Snopes".

Take some time, do a search and see what you come up with. And THEN, if it is legitimate, forward it on! Thanks!

What Is Worship About Anyway?

I was flabbergasted when I read this article.

In Seattle, Mars Hill churchgoers regularly tweet throughout the service. In New York City, Trinity Church marked Good Friday by tweeting the Passion play, detailing the stages of Jesus' crucifixion in short bursts. At Next Level Church, outside Charlotte, it's not only okay to fuse social networking technology with prayer; it's desirable.

On Easter Sunday, pastor Todd Hahn prefaced his sermon by saying, "I hope many of you are tweeting this morning about your experience with God."

What is "twittering"? (tweeting)

Voelz and David McDonald, the other senior pastor at Westwinds Community Church in Jackson, Mich., spent two weeks educating their congregation about Twitter, the microblogging site that challenges users to communicate in 140 characters or less. They held training sessions where congregants brought in their laptops, iPhones and Blackberrys. They upped the bandwidth in the auditorium. (Finding God on YouTube)

* * *

A while back I saw a guest at our church typing into his
Blackberry during the sermon. I thought that he might be making sermon notes (and maybe he was). But now I wonder if he was answering emails or "Twittering".

Can we ever leave electronic devices alone? For an
HOUR?

Do our minds have to be constantly going? Can't we just "be
still" and listen to God's voice?

It used to be that cell phones were the big annoyance. In
restaurants, movie theatres and sometimes church. Now Blackberrys?
Texting? Where will this end?

Or will it ever?

It seems to me that we are so fixed on our gadgetry that we cannot enjoy silence and calm. Many times we don't greet those walking past us because we're involved in a cell phone conversation already. All of our "quiet" times are filled with gadgetry.

And now worship services too?

What is worship about anyway? Or better still, WHO is
worship about? It's about HIM. God. Jesus. It's FOR
Him. It isn't about us!

Think about it.

And leave the gadgetry at home.

You'll enjoy it.

THE HEART OF WORSHIP, by Michael W. Smith
Verse 1:
When the music fades
All is stripped away
And I simply come
Longing just to bring
Something that's of worth
That will bless Your heart

Bridge:
I'll bring You more than a song
For a song in itself
Is not what You have required
You search much deeper within
Through the way things appear
You're looking into my heart

Chorus:
I'm coming back to the heart of worship
And it's all about You,
It's all about You, Jesus
I'm sorry, Lord, for the thing I've made it
When it's all about You,
It's all about You, Jesus

Verse 2:
King of endless worth
No one could express
How much You deserve
Though I'm weak and poor
All I have is Yours
Every single breath

Bridge:
I'll bring You more than a song
For a song in itself
Is not what You have required
You search much deeper within
Through the way things appear
You're looking into my heart

Chorus:
I'm coming back to the heart of worship
And it's all about You,
It's all about You, Jesus
I'm sorry, Lord, for the thing I've made it
And it's all about You,
It's all about You, Jesus

Chorus:
I'm coming back to the heart of worship,
And it's all about You,
It's all about You, Jesus
I'm sorry, Lord, for the thing I've made it
When it's all about You,
It's all about You, Jesus